on turning 19

Reading this short article was some sort of comfort.

I am turning 19 in 9 days. I am a year-end baby, but I insist that I’ve turned 19 much earlier in the day due to all the change I had to go through. Looking back at the year, it has been some sort of a strange transition. I now identify myself as quasi-adult quasi-teen, and it is a weird stage to be in.

This year, I had to make some pretty big decisions. Not the real, adult BIG decisions, but decisions bigger than usual. I decided to learn driving. I decided to find out what this faith means (by signing up for Bible school). I decided where (or who) I wanted to invest some finances. Through making these bigger decisions as well as the smaller ones that come with growing up, one of the questions I’ve learnt to ask myself is this: Is it worth it?

It can get a little annoying, like when I’m spending a few hours watching a Korean drama and the question sneaks into my head. Basically whenever I do things I’ve come to recognise as useless. lol. With the freedom that stepping into adulthood brings, this question has become quite key in helping me manage the transition.

While I like the increased independence that comes with turning 19, I still feel like i’m bargaining for an extension of teenagehood. I still try to ease my way out of doing certain household chores. haha. I am making mistakes, and I am at a certain tension with growing up, but I am trying and learning to embrace it all. Next year we are turning TWO-ZERO, and although I am certain I am not so prepared for that, I am so thankful I have an army of friends that are also not so prepared. HAHA. Gonna take on our new phases of life together.

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