During worship,

I don’t always mean what I sing.

When I sing songs that demand full abandonment to the will and ways of a God that I cannot claim to completely trust yet, I don’t sing them from a place of unwavering faith. In fact, when I sing these lines, I am unsure, afraid and a little bit doubtful. I sing them fully aware of my incapacity to give God all of myself.

I choose to sing not because I’m there yet. I sing because I am confident that I am on a journey with Christ. I know that God is making me and moulding me. I sing these songs as a declaration. I cannot, but I am willing. If He is the author and perfecter of my faith, does it not make sense to sing of my faith (or lack thereof) to the very one who gives me faith?

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.”

I sing this line knowing that I don’t know how to fully let myself be submitted to and led by the tides, current, wind and weather of faith. No, when I sing this line, I really simply mean this:

“Help me take the next step.”

 

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