when i let Loneliness’ tirade convince me of “necessary” independence
when i let Fear narrate my future
when i let Inadequacy sing it’s poisonous poetry within the hallowed halls of my heart again and again and again and

thank You for calling me higher
today i let the whispers of your love ease my anxious (and occasionally, aching) heart

(FINALLY) Finished reading Mere Christianity this morning. Lewis ended the book with this:

Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, and death of your whole being in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will really be yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in. 

I shall hope that I will refuse a life of fleeting pleasures but seek towards living one of eternal reward. (:

Picked up a new book (which was free because it is such an old classic and i like free things too much) and read this one line:

“Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”

mm.

Might have taken wayyyy too much caffeine earlier today. At least the weather is nice and cool (19deg).

The worst part about every 2am silence is that usually my thoughts are extremely brutal. 

The best part is that when the morning comes it feels even sweeter than regular mornings.

“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.” 

This verse articulates my nights and my hope of dawn. You know me better than I know myself and I thank You for that; recently I find myself knowing me less and less. And maybe in light of this hope I claim to have, that is not such a bad thing after all. 

Let my heart find no rest until it finds its rest in You.

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